i don't know what's going on. i don't want another friend to die. i don't know what to do. i can't even help myself.

very slow progress and even more screwed up bags 0:( ( (

my frog brother is down and out. i bumped into him shortly and he wanted to be by himself.

breaking the ice

it's been so long. it's going to take some time to warm up to a friend you've not spoken to for a year and a half.


Am- F - C - Am - G - F - C

Am- F - C - Am - G - F - D

"We're not the same dear and it seems to me
There's nowhere we can go with nothing underneath
Then it saddens me to say what we both knew was true
That the ice was getting thinner under me and you"

if only we could throw away some pride, and remove the ego

i really didn't know it was impolite

i made porridge for my friends today. it makes me happy to know they're fed and cared for. 0: )

my froggie brother has disappointed me once again. it's become a routine, a very bad habit. I know he's dealing with many things thrown to him all at an instant, but still, he can't take some things for granted no matter how bad his situation is. I don't want to tell him i've had enough, because it hasn't reached the limit yet, it's porbably just at 10%. But as the exhibition draws nearer, his frequent absence is turning me into a bundle of nerves.

Maybe you feel like this now

A thousand people yell
They're shouting my name
But I want to die in this moment
I want to die

And a thousand people smile
They're smiling at me
But I want to die in this moment
I want to die

No way to understand
Why I've become the way I am

When the sky is filled with stars
I find a place inside my heart

Some people can take a blow
And they won't ever drop
But I want to die in this moment
I want to die

She will tell me she loves me
That she won't ever stop
But I want to die in this moment
I want to die

The coldness in my soul
And I reach out for her to hold

And then I watch her close her eyes
It's only me that needs to cry

And if I stay with you
Do you believe that I'll pull through?

No way to understand
Why I've become the way I am

When the sky is filled with stars
I find a place inside my heart
And then I watch her close her eyes
It's only me that needs to cry

A thousand people yell
They're shouting my name
But I want to die in this moment
I want to die


- 1000 people , blackfield

Thank you thank you silence

these foolish games are tearing me apart

in the end only kindness matters

Haunted by Poe

then , in the end, a little girl said ,

"You think I'll cry?
I won't cry.
My heart will break before I cry.
I will go mad."

whether you fall

simple as it is, Tracy Bonham has this really beautifully written song, Whether you fall


"Whether you fall
Means nothing at all
It's whether you get up
It's whether you get up"

angel

Simply timeless and have found this live version by chance-
Angel

found out that she wrote it for a friend who had committed suicide

talking with a friend just the other day, we drew a conclusion that songs and their lyrics mean differently to each individual, every different day.

this failing eyesight of mine is giving me breathing difficulties

nobody will fully understand the truth behind the whole situation unless they experience it first hand. the incidences are indescribable. the bystanders can only guess and try to help by watching.


at times i wonder why we even speak to each other. i've realised i can't tell you everything, because in turn, u try to tell me a different reality altogether or attempt to be all wise and noble.
when u meet the others, you put on your front and try to keep to it, leaving me in the shade.

"when u have no job it sucks without money"

i just re-read an email and realised that people can be so selfish

(what about me? i have no job and no money too, maybe much less than you do)

0: (

(warning: you might see this very often from now on, for i am convinced of certain things relating to my mistakes/fickle mind as told to me by a certain someone)

the friendship band

that stump of a mistake in the criss crossing of two threads resulted in a burden to the uniformity of the lot

the fault lies in me, and it makes me sad that everyone's tied together
one does not speak, but holds on in the tangles
quietly in pain

i asked myself , "why are the birds chirping..."
but it's already 5.30 am and i'm still here

when?

you will never be forgotten

deleting and blocking/ erasing and hiding

i don't do any of those
for there is no need for secrets

understanding and acceptance

i've never really understood why we're not talking. i hope i get an explanation some day. hopefully before i die.

travelogue day 2010( or, amidst the maelstrom of conflicting emotions)

i love my friends ( but i cannot love wholeheartedly yet)

there are missing people in these shots.
where were you and what were you doing all this time?

it was violent in silence

and all i felt was your pain and juvenile angst


Don't hate me
I'm not special like you
I'm tired and I'm so alone
Don't fight me
I know you'll never care
Can I call you on the telephone, now and then?

this busy lifestyle

leaves me no capacity to love

happy clothes

these happy clothes that i am clearing are waiting for a happy day
not today