my heart beats fast.

http://entertainment.howstuffworks.com/april-23-birthday-astrology.htm

it's pretty true, cept for the part on family...

The neighbour's grandaughter has been repeating this for about 11 times now. I'm really surprised at how she is reacting to the chinese language game being played for her on the pc, with her grandma coaxing her to interact with it.

Children these days don't know how fortunate they are, because they haven't experienced the down side of life yet. How do you measure fortune anyway, when the kids in impoverished nations are content with the simple pleasures of life, like jumping into little streams, playing with rocks and leaves, and kids in first/second world nations complain that their parents don't love them.

warm urine

i don't know what's going on. i don't want another friend to die. i don't know what to do. i can't even help myself.

very slow progress and even more screwed up bags 0:( ( (

my frog brother is down and out. i bumped into him shortly and he wanted to be by himself.

breaking the ice

it's been so long. it's going to take some time to warm up to a friend you've not spoken to for a year and a half.


Am- F - C - Am - G - F - C

Am- F - C - Am - G - F - D

"We're not the same dear and it seems to me
There's nowhere we can go with nothing underneath
Then it saddens me to say what we both knew was true
That the ice was getting thinner under me and you"

if only we could throw away some pride, and remove the ego

i really didn't know it was impolite

i made porridge for my friends today. it makes me happy to know they're fed and cared for. 0: )

my froggie brother has disappointed me once again. it's become a routine, a very bad habit. I know he's dealing with many things thrown to him all at an instant, but still, he can't take some things for granted no matter how bad his situation is. I don't want to tell him i've had enough, because it hasn't reached the limit yet, it's porbably just at 10%. But as the exhibition draws nearer, his frequent absence is turning me into a bundle of nerves.

Maybe you feel like this now

A thousand people yell
They're shouting my name
But I want to die in this moment
I want to die

And a thousand people smile
They're smiling at me
But I want to die in this moment
I want to die

No way to understand
Why I've become the way I am

When the sky is filled with stars
I find a place inside my heart

Some people can take a blow
And they won't ever drop
But I want to die in this moment
I want to die

She will tell me she loves me
That she won't ever stop
But I want to die in this moment
I want to die

The coldness in my soul
And I reach out for her to hold

And then I watch her close her eyes
It's only me that needs to cry

And if I stay with you
Do you believe that I'll pull through?

No way to understand
Why I've become the way I am

When the sky is filled with stars
I find a place inside my heart
And then I watch her close her eyes
It's only me that needs to cry

A thousand people yell
They're shouting my name
But I want to die in this moment
I want to die


- 1000 people , blackfield

Thank you thank you silence

these foolish games are tearing me apart

in the end only kindness matters

Haunted by Poe

then , in the end, a little girl said ,

"You think I'll cry?
I won't cry.
My heart will break before I cry.
I will go mad."

whether you fall

simple as it is, Tracy Bonham has this really beautifully written song, Whether you fall


"Whether you fall
Means nothing at all
It's whether you get up
It's whether you get up"

angel

Simply timeless and have found this live version by chance-
Angel

found out that she wrote it for a friend who had committed suicide

talking with a friend just the other day, we drew a conclusion that songs and their lyrics mean differently to each individual, every different day.

this failing eyesight of mine is giving me breathing difficulties

nobody will fully understand the truth behind the whole situation unless they experience it first hand. the incidences are indescribable. the bystanders can only guess and try to help by watching.


at times i wonder why we even speak to each other. i've realised i can't tell you everything, because in turn, u try to tell me a different reality altogether or attempt to be all wise and noble.
when u meet the others, you put on your front and try to keep to it, leaving me in the shade.

"when u have no job it sucks without money"

i just re-read an email and realised that people can be so selfish

(what about me? i have no job and no money too, maybe much less than you do)

0: (

(warning: you might see this very often from now on, for i am convinced of certain things relating to my mistakes/fickle mind as told to me by a certain someone)

the friendship band

that stump of a mistake in the criss crossing of two threads resulted in a burden to the uniformity of the lot

the fault lies in me, and it makes me sad that everyone's tied together
one does not speak, but holds on in the tangles
quietly in pain

i asked myself , "why are the birds chirping..."
but it's already 5.30 am and i'm still here

when?

you will never be forgotten

deleting and blocking/ erasing and hiding

i don't do any of those
for there is no need for secrets

understanding and acceptance

i've never really understood why we're not talking. i hope i get an explanation some day. hopefully before i die.

travelogue day 2010( or, amidst the maelstrom of conflicting emotions)

i love my friends ( but i cannot love wholeheartedly yet)

there are missing people in these shots.
where were you and what were you doing all this time?

it was violent in silence

and all i felt was your pain and juvenile angst


Don't hate me
I'm not special like you
I'm tired and I'm so alone
Don't fight me
I know you'll never care
Can I call you on the telephone, now and then?

this busy lifestyle

leaves me no capacity to love

happy clothes

these happy clothes that i am clearing are waiting for a happy day
not today

Dear Sean,

Is this a blessing from you (disguised?) ?
I really hope that with this, I will be able to enter into your world, and try and understand what was wrong.


M

people cry

people cry for many different reasons, some cry for more than one.

i might have

an early onset of Alzheimer . or some other form of dementia

i want a cat who can talk to me

then maybe i wont feel so lonely

please let me hold a party, where i'll cook for my friends
special porridge and a mixed veggie pasta salad
followed by an hour of facial and massage
then we'll all lie down on the ground,
outside my house in the garden
where mr.sun will shine on our faces with bright smiles
and we'll talk and laugh at just about anything
because we are all friends basking under the sun

i'm sorry i couldn't do it by today. i tried, but i can't

i know how to make myself feel cold. extremely cold

i shudder

because i know everybody will slowly disappear around me




I remember how i used to wake up and tell my reflection in the mirror , " smile ,because today will be a good day "

I remember how i used to walk to school alone , and before reaching the gates , i'd tell myself , " smile, because everything will be okay "

Well, it seems that all these don't work anymore.



i miss the times when i was ignorant to everything around me. ( i couldnt even tell sarcasm)
everything was just about me, i couldnt even remember the others, except for their face and the names put to theoe faces.

I used to be so happy and free. But gone are the days now.

I've started to become more conscious about the people around me , their behaviour, actions , so much that sometimes they affect me more than it should.
I let them affect me.


I hate that we are separated by barriers - the walls and the racks. What happened to the days when we were young?




today i felt so alone.

today Jerald Niko passed on.

i dont know what went wrong

but i just want it all to be okay

i reallly wish i had made something for benny greb. 0: (

if only i had radar that could detect all the cries for help

skin on right hand peeling , like mad

crazily calm

*don't squash me!

bumped into dina a while ago and received this really cute little note from her! 0: ) thank you i really like it 0: )





i'm always giving away stuff so this came as a pleasant surprise.
i really appreciate anything made by hand, especially if it's topped off with a hand written note. thank you for making my day!

Right foot run over by car

hahahaha! It was a very amusing experience.